Perimenopause: The Deployment Nobody Briefed You On

Nobody gave us a briefing for this one. No slide deck, no packing list, no sergeant telling us what to expect at the next checkpoint. One day you are fine, and the next you are standing in front of an open freezer at 2 p.m. in November, wondering if your internal thermostat has been hacked.

Welcome to perimenopause, the transition years before menopause. It can start earlier than many of us expected and last longer than anyone would like. And because so many of us spent our careers ignoring our bodies until something broke, it is easy to shrug it off. Please don’t.

A quick and important note: I am not a doctor, and this is general information, not medical advice. Your body, your history and your service all matter here, so the most useful thing you can do after reading this is book an appointment.

The usual suspects

Every woman’s experience is different, but some symptoms come up again and again:

• Hot flashes and night sweats. The sudden wave of heat, the flushed face, the sheets you have to change at midnight.
• Sleep trouble. Waking at 3 a.m., wide awake and staring at the ceiling, running through every decision you made in 1997.
• Mood changes. Irritability, anxiety or low mood that seems to come out of nowhere. The kind of short fuse you would have counseled a soldier about.
• Irregular periods. Heavier, lighter, closer together, further apart. Unpredictable is the theme.
• Brain fog. Walking into a room and forgetting why. Losing the word for “colander.” Searching for the reading glasses that are on top of your head.
• Other changes. Joint aches, vaginal dryness, changes in libido, weight shifting around the middle.

Some of these can also be signs of other conditions, which is one more reason to get checked rather than self-diagnose on the internet at 3 a.m.

You would never have deployed without a packing list. Don’t do this one without a plan.

What actually helps

The good news is that there is plenty you can do, and you have options.

Treat sleep like a mission requirement. Keep the bedroom cool and dark. Layer your bedding so you can kick something off without fully waking up. Keep a consistent wake time, even on weekends. Cut back on screens before bed, and pay attention to how alcohol and late caffeine affect your nights. For many women, they make things noticeably worse.

Keep moving. You don’t need to max your old PT test. Regular movement, especially strength training and weight-bearing exercise, supports bones, muscle, mood and sleep. Walking counts. Lifting groceries counts, technically, though a little more structure helps.

Track your symptoms. A simple notes app or a notebook on the nightstand works. Write down hot flashes, sleep, mood and your cycle. Patterns will show up, and you will walk into your appointment with data instead of “I just feel off.” Think of it as your own intel report.

Know your triggers. Spicy food, a glass of wine, stress, a hot room: lots of women notice certain things set off hot flashes. Once you know yours, you can plan around them.

Talk about it. With your partner, your friends, the women you served with. You will be amazed how many people are going through the same thing and just not mentioning it.

Get the professional on the radio

Here is the part I really want you to hear. There are treatment options for perimenopause symptoms, both hormonal and non-hormonal, and they are worth a real conversation with your doctor. What makes sense depends on your health history, so this is not a decision to make from a friend’s recommendation or a social media ad.

If your doctor brushes you off, it is reasonable to ask for a referral or find a clinician who focuses on menopause care. You are allowed to advocate for yourself. You did it for your troops for years.

If you are a woman veteran enrolled in VA health care, ask about women’s health services at your VA. Many facilities have women’s health providers, and you can ask about menopause care specifically. Check VA.gov for current information about eligibility and services near you.

You would never have deployed without a packing list. Don’t do this one without a plan. It is a phase, not a life sentence, and with a little help, you can absolutely get through it with your sense of humor intact. Mostly.